Best Friends

Do you and your best friend also never run out of things to talk about? This week, Chanice (31) and Naomi (32) share their unique and unbreakable bond, forged by their shared past.

How we met

Naomi: "Because our parents were good friends. Chanice and I grew up like sisters. People often thought we actually were: our fathers are from Curaçao, and with our tanned skin and curly hair, we really stood out in Limburg." Chanice: "We went to playschool together, played school football, and wanted to wear exactly the same clothes. We'd buy identical tops while shopping and call each other before school: 'What are we wearing today?' We also loved to dance. In our bedrooms, dressed in carnival outfits, we'd perform for our parents." Naomi: "With a pen or a hairbrush as a microphone, and oranges as our breasts, haha."

This brought depth to our friendship

Chanice: "Naomi and I both grew up in an unsafe home environment. Our fathers were often absent, and there was a lot of tension. We didn't quite know what was going on with each other – we were too young to articulate it – but we sensed that things weren't right. That's why it was so nice to be together: then we felt safe." Naomi: "By playing and having fun, we could escape reality for a while. Dancing was a way to express our feelings, something there was no room for at home."

That's when I could count on her

Chanice: "Five years ago, I was hit by a car. I could barely walk and became hypersensitive to light and sound. By then, I lived in Rotterdam and Naomi in Amsterdam. She had just had a child six months prior, yet she completely took care of me. I could stay with her family, and she came with me to doctor's appointments." Naomi: "Everyone in Chanice's

environment let her down, and I found that very upsetting. I still felt that sisterly vibe from the past and a responsibility for her, so it seemed only natural to me to take care of her." Chanice: "I turned out to have whiplash, but ultimately, the accident brought about much more. Past traumas surfaced, including sexual abuse at the age of fourteen. While I was staying with Naomi, I told her about it for the first time." Naomi: "I was shocked. It made me angry and sad, but I also found it tough that Chanice had never dared to tell me before and had to bear the burden alone. All I could do was sit beside her and be there for her. Listen, give a hug. Fortunately, I saw her blossom tremendously in the months and years that followed. Physically, she improved, but mentally, thanks to therapy, she became so much stronger." Chanice: "I learned to set boundaries and stand up for myself. Some wounds will never heal, but I have found peace. Naomi is now going through a similar process, as she has also started therapy to come to terms with her past." Naomi: "Chanice, in turn, is now there for me.

We call several times a day, or she comes over to take care of my children." Chanice: "We talk a lot about the past: what exactly was going on, how did you feel? That's beautiful, but also strange: after all, we thought we knew each other inside out. For years, out of a feeling of insecurity, we put on a mask for the outside world. That is now crumbling more and more, and Naomi and I have become an open book to each other. That feels very liberating."

 

This is what I admire about her

Naomi: "How she inspires others. After the accident, Chanice started her company as a trauma coach, primarily guiding victims of sexual abuse. It's fantastic how she empowers other women and men." Chanice: "Naomi allows her children to be completely themselves. She teaches them that they can say 'no' and have their own will. In this way, she gives her children the strong foundation that we ourselves lacked. Very admirable."

Our wish for the future

Chanice: "We've created a dance to Destiny's Child's song Survivor against domestic and sexual violence. We're also working on a theatre performance. We hope to perform together this year to literally get people moving and make discussing this difficult topic more accessible."